i had to get this out.

what have i done?
have i gone completely mad?

last year, she loved me.
& it showed, i couldn't accept the fact that she did.
i shamefully wanted more. i wanted someone that i could never, ever be with.
so i lived recklessly, and treated her the same way.

why must i be so blind?
she never hesitated to tell me that she loved me.
she shed tears, at the thought of us being apart.
she came to my doorsteps early in the mornings, not to be greeted with love.
i had become a jerk, and i knew it too.

after our 4 months of hardships, she finally left.
i stood strong. and i was happy.



until it finally hit me, and i realized that i was wrong for what i did.

now, her every move has me captivated.
jealously occurs when she brings up the names of other men.
i'm killing myself inside thinking about what i did.
she didn't deserve to be treated with disrespect.

now, i bow to her every action. infatuated, i may be.

i lied. i'm in love.


my pathetic actions could have been times of laughter, embracing, and love.
so now, i am there for her.

i want to create for myself, a new me.
to be the guy who will undoubtedly be there for his love, whenever.
stand strong, for when she's weak.
and be the savior of falling victim to our society's animals.

it makes me worry to have her be around other men.
maybe it's jealousy.
maybe it's just me being obnoxious.
or maybe, it's just because she's all the care in the world that i have.

although we all have imperfections..

i would love to be the man who can actually try his very best to make his love happy.
let me create myself anew.

would you let me..?